Graduation Adjustment

I graduated from Purdue University. Finally.

I hate polite ceremonies. Even more, I hate dressing in "costume" for them. I'm talking about the dreadful cap and gown. For $30, you receive a used wrinkled gown, stuffed into a compact Ziplock bag and a cap made of cardboard that makes your face look wide. Optional for females are pathetic white strips of fabric you can attach to the gown with a weak adhesive. Since, my hair is dark and my gown was black, I preferred to use the collar.

For Commencement, I played saxophone in the band. You see, the band department allows graduating musicians to play for the band with two major incentives: 1) $$ and 2) you get to take a personal photo with Purdue President France Cordova.

After the ceremony, Pres. Cordova came over and called my name first for the picture. My sax neckstrap caught and detached my collar from my graduation gown. I was fussing with it the entire journey up to her, but couldn't quite get it. Without much thought due to frustration, I asked Pres. Cordova if she could help me. Being a mother of college graduates, Cordova jumped right in and fixed my collar in front of the entire commencement band.

After all was said and done, all I could think of how the President of Purdue fixed my collar, while her body guard waited patiently to the side.

I swear...it could only happen to me.

Heels

Last Sunday, I went to Indianapolis for business. Because I knew there was much walking, I wore chic yet comfortable pumps. The toes came to a point, but the heel was less than an inch tall. However, the diameter of the heel was approximately three centimeters wide. In other words, my greatest fear was to get my heels stuck when walking outside.

What I particularly liked about Downtown Indianapolis was the sidewalks. I felt that they were designed to take account of the modern business woman. The gaps in sidewalks, grates, and sewer covers were minimal and far-spaced apart. I literally walked everywhere without much problem. But, of course, my shoes inevitably found the right gap to trip me.

Toward the end of the trip, I toured the Circle Monument. I was amazed at how I could walk over the cobblestone with ease. Feeling overconfident and in control, I began to talk to my friend. I realized my shoe had gotten stuck when my body pitched forward, causing me to stumble nearly to my knees. Looking back, I saw my right heel had disappeared in a hole just large enough to embarrass me. It was a perfect fit.

The problem, though, was to get my shoe out. I had to remove the heel at the exact angle it went in. Not famous for my balancing acts, I hopped and flailed around for twenty seconds trying to get unstuck while my friend did nothing but laugh at the situation. The moment I decided humble my pride and take the shoe off was the moment when my heel became free. Still, surrounding spectators got quite the show.

I swear...it could only happen to me.

Echo Circle

Purdue University, like many other universities, exhibit interesting architectural structures. A favorite among students are a series of cobblestone mounds I call the Echo Circles. They are located along Oval Drive between the Heavilon and the Union buildings on campus.

These circles are special because when people stand in the center, they can create a chirping echo when they clap their hands. So, thanks to the carefully-engineered layout, one might be subjected to find random groups of people clapping then giggling in public.

Yes, I am to admit that I had exercised this practice of nonsense. Purdue traditions are instilled and branded in students within their first year of admission. Besides the clapping, I learned that the person standing in the center could clearly hear anyone whispering on the edge of the circle. However, I recently tried to show this trick to a friend of mine and forgot that the person in the middle was the LISTENER and the one elsewhere was the TALKER. Therefore, after a clapping session within the echo circle, I whispered, "Hey, can you hear me?"

My friend (looking bewildered) whispered back, "Yeah, I'm standing in front of you."

I swear...it could only happen to me.

Introduction

I swear...FATE follows me like a stalking and stormy cloud. It's not that bad things happen to me, only the ridiculous. I plan to share these moments as they happen.